Dake'Seba'SU
by TheatricalPlacenta
Summary: Dake'Seba'SU means angry sex. Tsunade had been getting angry at sasuke latley for not finishing his reports. So sasuke stays in late at his office. what will happen when naruto starts to think he's cheating on him? SASUNARU PPL! LEMON! just read it.......


Kioku: well i feel so guilty about that stupid chapter i gave you guys and i felt like i kind of owed you all a little somthin, somthin........

Sasuke:.......am i .............. vulnerable?

Naruto:........oh lighten up sasuke.....

Sasuke: fuck you!- Just cause i said it was okay dosn't mean i'll jump into it everytime it's mentioned!-yur gunna hafta force me!

Naruto: oh come on!

Sasuke:....no!

Kioku: GUYS, GUYS!-YOUR FINE SASUKE!....gawd.....narutos totally the uke....now and forever...........i wouldn't change that for the world............well...maybe if it was in turmoil, but since we're not all going to die today-your definatley in controll ok?

Sasuke: WHOO!!

Naruto:.....well....ive never seen you that excited scince charlie and the chocolate factory

sasuke:......what about my happy pills?

Naruto:....O__O

Sasuke: *smirk*

C/R: .....NOT MINE!

A/N: enjoy my midnight plot bunnie!!!!-welll actually this came to me in a dream- but it was with - *ahem!*....never mind....i might tell you later....

(OMG I JUST SAW EVIL SASUKE ON TV!-He was all like '"SOME THINGS!*glare* ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID!"' and then orochomaru totally gave his gay laugh)

**I SUGEST LISTENING TO SWEET DREAMS, BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, IF I WAS YOUR VAMPIRE: by marilyn manson AND THEN ALMOST LOVER :twilight sound track, AND THEN FOLLOWED BY TWISTED TRANSISTER: korn.**

**Also if you have time 'Die Motherfucker' by:slipknot and 'No leaf Clover' by: metallica**

Kioku: **I FUCKED LESTAT LAST NIGHT!**

Sasuke/Naruto:.....O_o

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**Dakke'seba-su! - ("Angry Sex")**

**(S.U. P.O.V.)**

I sat at my desk holding a cup of beer, a late night treat, as i slowly but eficiantly filled out my mission report. Naruto would probably be mad at me if i came home and he was still awake, so i would wait till he would go to sleep. He usually dosn't have the heart to scream at me in the morning.

He'd been getting pretty angry at me lately because, usually, right now id be fucking his brains out, but _Noooooo _Tsunade decided to crack down on me and give me shit for always handing in my half ass reports that i would jot down in the morning.

So here i am, all by my lonesome. Forced to work against my will, and waist my prescious sex time with my beloved naruto.

Oh woe is me.

"uchiha-san?" called a soft female voice from across the room.

"hmm?" i looked up to see hinata, her hair in her eyes and her fingers twining together "yes?"

"umm........it's naruto......he's on line one......" she gulped her fingers moving faster.

"Please don't do that......" I stood from his chair and streached, yawning "i'll be right out"

"o-okay" she backed out of the small office, reserved for the anbu captain, leaving the door open for me to follow.

Hinata was a sweet girl. Not like the others, she wasn't always trying to '_cure_' me of my gay-ness, But she did hate me. Everytime i would look away or when she thought i wasn't looking she'd give me this look that clearly read **"die-you-stupid-man-stealing-bastard"** and then when i would look at her again she'd do that very same thing she did at the door with her fingers. It would seem she'd developed that to avoid scouling at me all the time; it's quite funny actually.

I walked into the small dimly lit hallway, lined with doors and a small reception room at the end. Hinata sat behind the desk out there typing somthing that was non of my interest.

"hinata" i said placing my hand on the phone "....you have no obligation to stay here....you're just a volunteer......if you want to work somewhere....go to the hospital, where you belong......but even they are at home sleeping" i smiled lightly, trying to persuade her to listen to me.

"i...um......i'm on a mission tomorrow...and i was just checking my e-mail-" she studdered deleting something that she had typed wrong "i'll be out of here s-soon..." she looked at me nervously.

"hm" i picked up the phone and tapped the number '1' button pressing the head to my ear "Hello?" i said polietly into the reciver.

"Sasuke?..." narutos beautiful husky, but light, voice came from the phone.

" Hey naruto, what's wrong?-you should be sleeping....." i smiled softly to myself as i heard him yawn on the other end.

"where are you?" he asked sleepily.

"I'm still at work" i explained a little bit of guilt seeping into my head as i heard him groan in response "i'm sorry.....i'll be back as soon as possible"

"no" he whined yawning again "come home..."

"....I wish i could...." i looked over at hinata, and watched her to prevent her from burning holes into the back of my head any further "......i promise i'll come home soon, okay?.....i'm almost done anyway" i said softly.

"you better be" he grumbled.

"heh-heh....i'll see you soon" i chuckled

"g'night-" he sighed "_he better be here soon or i'll get over there and kick his uptight ass so ha-*yawn* aghd.......mph-_" i heard him wisper sourly as he tiredly_ tried _to put the phone back on the reciver.

I laughed putting the phone back on the reciver aswell-having less dificulty than he had "....well hinata" i glanced at her as i turned to walk back to my dreary little office down the hall "i'll be out of here soon.....and when i come out, you should already be at home sleeping...got it?"

"...ugh....you really dont have to worry about it.....i'm used to no sleep...." she blinked mumbling out the last few words as i glared at her slightly.

"i also have to lock up aswell" i warned her advancing down the hallway.

Stupid. I wasn't worried about her. Not at all. Why?-because i was more worried about me!

Sitting here in an empty building with a woman that absoloutly despises you, and has probably, already figured out many ways to kill you with her stupid, super natural, ogar-like strength.

Why were all the women in this village so freaking strong?!-i mean imagine the sex with them.

Oh god i'm glad im gay. Narutos pretty rough in bed-and he's a man. Imagine the women.

I shuddered at the thought. But seriously-back to hinata. She always acts so damed sweet all the time no one would even _think_ of her when they were looking for suspects.

My death wouldn't even be justified!-So then after the case would settle down she'd go get a sex change and steal naruto right out from under my cold dead feet!

Possable stuations like that can really put a guy on edge.

.....Hinata.....

A formiddable foe indeed.

I sat in my chair, my ass begining to go numb. The alchol was really starting to go to my head.

"jesus...." i rubbed my temples the pencil in my hand dropping to the cracked oak "...i give up" i said looking at the clock that read_ 1: 14 A.M. _"i'm going home .... screw the report....i'm taking a vacation" i stood up and began stacking the papers on my desk in a neat pile.

I stared at them contemplating weather i should take them home and finish them later; just incase tsunade got pissed of and sent some retard gennin to fetch me for her. "nah!-" i waved it off and put my hands together making hand sighns, hoping they were corecct, since i was under the influence and all. Id finish the report tomorow, when my head is clearer. It's already due.

Smoke enveloped me.

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As the smoke disapeared i noticed that i was in an alley, and not in my house at all "....what the hell?" i looked around tripping over my own feet and slammed into a dumpster, shoulder first.

"ugh..." my head was spinning, i'd obviously had a little bit too much to drink "....shit"

I stumbled out of the alley, squinting to try to see straight ".......i.......gotta get home....." i took another step and ran into something, or rather _someone_ "ooff" i sidesteped to catch my balance as the middle aged woman looked up at me a scoul on her face "watch where your going" she scolded crossing her arms across her chest.

"i-" i tried to speak but a large lump rose up my throat instead "-UGH!" i lurched over, dropping to my knees as the lump in my throat came splutering out of my mouth.

The woman that i had bumped into scoffed in discust and her quick footsteps seemed to be fading fast.

I looked up holding my curtling stomache, i felt a little empty after that wonderfull experience.

I slowly got to my feet and began walking down the dark road, taking into note that i was only two blocks away from the uchiha section of the village. I also noticed that there were quite a few people out roaming the streets, on account that i kept running into them.

I sighed in relief as i came to the gates that had large fans painted on them. They weren't the greatest peices of art i must admit but they still marked their place.

I would get them re-painted later.

It wasn't long untill i came to my house. Our house. Mine and Narutos. That has a nice ring to it.

I stood there mumbling some slurred colorfull language as i tried to fit my key into the locked door. I finally succeeded in that task at hand and moved into the small sitting room behind the door, closing it behind me.

I strode upstairs the headache slowly fading as i peeled off my clothing, dropping the garments as i walked.

The only thing left on my chisled body was my boxers as i entered the bathroom grabbing the bottle of winter freash tooth paste. My favorite. I had no time-no wait-i had no common sense to brush my teeth so i just sqirted some on my finger and stuck it in my mouth. I swished it around my mouth and spit it out into the sink. The smell of liqour and some sort of proccessed meat didn't fade much but atleast my mouth tasted better.

I splashed some water on my face and dried it off, i stared at myself in the mirror and saw that i needed to shave. Stuble was starting to grow on my chin and faintly on my jaw. But i wasn't gunna shave now......i'd probably kill myself somehow.

I turned off the bathroom light as i walked into our bedroom. Mine and Narutos. oh there's that nice ring again.

I smiled as i looked down at the beautiful blonde boy lying asleep in _our _bed, Under _our _covers. He looked so peacefull. I imediatly felt a great deal of sadness and guilt take over me "oh my presious naruto" i wispered stroking back a lock of hair that sprawled across his face. Tears welled up in my eyes as he blinked up at me in tired confusion.

"i'm sorry" i mumbled crawling under the sheets beside him "did i wake you?"

"....mmph" naruto wraped his arms around my waist and pressed himself against me "i dont mind" he spoke softly, still half asleep.

"naruto" i buried my face into his hair my tears spilling over.

"welcome home" he wispered in my ear contently. He slowly kissed me down my neck and stopped at my collar bone "i love you" he kissed me again.

"oh naruto" i choked out "i'm such an asshole, i'm sorry" i cried pulling away from him.

"what are you talking about?" he asked more aware now.

"i'm a dirty bastard" i lied on my back, the hot water running down my cheeks "I don't deserve you....." i closed my eyes.

"w-what?" narutos voice sounded alarmed so i looked at him to make sure he was okay "what brought all this on?!" he asked me leaning over to get a better look at my face.

What brought this on?-well that's an easy one. Why is he even asking me this this? isn't it obvious?! All i do is leave him alone. Ever since i was twelve i've left him alone, and before that i would ignore him. I've punched him, kicked him, broken him and when he finally succeeds in dragging me back home all he wants to do is love me.

Boy was i missing alot. There was so much more than hating everything. When i finally excepted that i wasn't escaping him, my entire world changed.

Instead of walking down a road and looking around me saying: "i hate that tree, i hate that fruit stand, i hate that kid, i hate that homeless person, i hate that street lamp"- I now walk down the street and say "sex with naruto, sex with naruto, sex with naruto, sex with naruto, tacco, sex with naruto"

I often get odd looks from people when i chant that. Maybe the cheery tone doesn't suit me. Or it could be that it's just a weird thing to say.

But i still leave him alone.

For so long i've left him alone.

For so long, he's been without anyone.

No one that _really _and _honestly_ cared for him.

Well i do.

........

I shure got a dandy fucking way of showing it, though, don't i?

"maybe hinata should get a sex change" i grumbled upset that i was such a dick.

"......ok?-what ever that means-"

"she would be so much better for you" i looked at him a frown on my lips.

"your so stupid sasuke" naruto leaned forward and kissed me gentally on the lips but quickly pulled away and looked at me a serious expression on his face "are you drunk?..." naruto wispered drawing circles on my chest.

"....mmm" i nodded pulling him down for another kiss, but he stopped me "your right not to want me naruto" my voice cracked, although i was far past puberty "....im a scum bag"

"-i just want to know where you got the drink..." narutos features saddened.

"-oh, i was drinking it while writting...." i groaned holding the side of my head, all this comotion was bringing back my headache.

"that dosn't sound like you" naruto chuckled lying his head on my chest.

"i'm a little depressed" i explained placing my hand inbetween his shoulderblades.

"i can tell" naruto laughed wrapping his arms around me again "now go to sleep....." he sighed "...your gunna have a major hangover"

"mmm" i closed my eyes and drifted to sleep, the warmth beside me shifting to fit to my frame.

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I opened my eyes and was blinded by a bright light; the sun.

I groped for the warmth that was no longer beside me and called "Naruto!....."

I heard a faint thumping of feet hitting a case of stairs and then the door opened across the room "yes?" he asked breathless.

"can you close those blinds?" i pleaded throwing my arm over my closed eyes.

"uh-....sure" naruto walked across the room and closed them with a snap "...i was wondering when you were going to wake up......it's already quarter to eleven" naruto walked around the side of the bed and sat there stroking my exposed cheek.

".....that feels nice" i smiled, pushing my cheek back into his hand.

Naruto laughed taking my arm away from my face to look into my eyes "so-" he kissed me quickly "....dose your head hurt?" he laughed standing up.

I frowned and sat up glaring at him "...yeah actually......i really didn't drink that much though....." i rubbed my forehead ".......i guess i dont hold my alcohol very well"

" i guess not...." naruto said lightly "...come and get somthing to eat.......you'll feel better" he took my hand and dragged me out of bed "i'll give you some asprin too" he smiled at me.

The blanket fell off of me as i stood up straight and yawned.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and then i looked at the tan boy who was looking back at me, biting his lip.

"what?" i asked as his eyes glazed over with lust. Then the realization dawned on me that i was partly naked, in a room with a severly sex deprived naruto "...........oh" i said looking up from my abbs to naruto who was still biting his lip "I understand" i smirked moving closer to naruto.

"sasu-" i cut him off, crushing my lips to his, and restrained him within my arms.

I swung around gracefully dipping him down onto the bed and expertly moved inbetween his legs.

"I'm not supose to bend that way" naruto complained jokingly lifting his leg to hook around my waist.

Okay maybe not expertly but still pretty good-i was a little rusty.

"sorry" i mumbled nipping at his bottom lip.

"just a kink" he laughed grinding up against me.

"ahh-" i moaned rubbing up against him. It felt so good. Oh so good. It's been so long since i've had any physical contact with him. Weather i was on a mission or he was on a mission, we just didn't have time, and especially since tsunade began making sure i handed in my reports-

"MY REPORT!" i yelled trowing myself off of naruto and toward the dresser. It was so hard to tear myself away from naruto, and espesially at a time like this. I looked back at him longingly. So close "I-I'm late for work!" i scrambled around assembling a uniform; after being thrown around the room after a hard mission or just forgotten to be put away "Did tsunade call yet?!-is she mad?!" i looked up at my blonde God who was smiling at me, so inviting, sitting on the bed.

"Your sick" he said proudly crossing his arms across his chest "she was pretty peeved about it, but she didn't push me on it when i went loco on her granny ass"

"w-what?!" i stared at him, my eyes wide as dishplates "Naruto!!!- I NEEDED TO HAND THAT IN TODAY!" i buttoned up my pants and pulled the zipper, quickly reaching for my snug black long sleeved shirt "I'm gunna get killed!" i growled running to the closet to grab one of my many grey anbu jackets.

"B-but sasuke!" naruto got off the bed and rushed to my side "i....i thought you'd be happy!" he pouted halting me from putting on my uniform.

"naruto......i need to get to work....." i said sternly pulling the jacket over my shoulders.

"hmph" naruto frowned and walked across the room, exiting and slamming the door behind him; efectivly chiping the frame.

I sighed as i zipped up and pulled on some socks. I felt really bad. We had such a good thing going there, it's a real shame that my ass would of gotten fried as the price for going through with that, instead of taking care of my responsibilities.

And since my ass is the closest thing to my dick, and fire is unpredicatable; as painfull as it is, id pass up sex.

I walked out of the room hurrying down the stairs, after i had a quick shave and messily styled my hair. I jumped into the kitchen leaping across the counter and opening the cuboard with poptarts in it "yum" i licked my lips unwrapping the chocolaty pastry and stuffed half in my mouth. These were no ordinary crap filled suger cake. These were organic! Completely made of soy.

Naruto sat at the table glaring at a speck on the wall, opposite of him.

"come on naruto" i said light heartedly, moving towards him "i really need to get this report in, ive been working on it for atleast three days now" i ruffled his hair "please?" i leaned down to kiss his cheek "...forgive me?"

"piss off uchiha!" naruto pushed me away and reached for the kettle on the stove before it started boiling "Really! You don't have time to spend with me but you can bloody well take 15 minutes to groom yourself!!!"

"F-fifteen?"i asked looking at the clock.

"Yeah.....we could of had a quicky by now" naruto said but wasn't all that serious.

"Great" i shoved the rest in my mouth "i love you" i reached forward to give him a hug, or a kiss, or whatever.

"I said piss off!" he pushed me out of the way and sat at the table again "Go to work!" he sipped at some tea.

"fine" i said angrily. He didn't have to be such a jerk about it "....i'll be home late again" i said harshly jumping out the window.

Okay maybe i over reacted but naruto was being an ass.

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It was about _10 P.M. _on the clock. Great. Narutos been mad at me all day, and im shit faced.

What a great way to go down. All i need now is some more beer.

I got up and walked into the dark hallway throwing out an empty vodka bottle into a trash bin. Even the reception room was dark. Hinata had gone back to the hospital today, our actuall reseptionest returning, and leaving at the correct time. Sometimes i wish i was a reseptionist, but unfortunatley, that would include being social and interacting with human beings-wich sasuke uchiha never did, so im going to have to stick to being a kick ass ninja that knows everything.

I'd had a couple drinks earlier with a few of the other anbu at the station that hadn't gone on missions today. So i have to admit, i was a little impared.

I picked up the phone at the front desk and began calling home. The ringer continued to ring and ring and ring. No one picked up.

Crap. I seriously don't think i could walk home without hurting myself, or even making it for that matter. Great!

I pushed the front door to the building open, typing in the key that activated the locks.

I stuffed my hands in my pockets looking down at my feet, making sure i didn't trip over anything.

I looked up from the ground as i reached london drugs, and walked into the store. I observed the various types of liqour they had and settled on the golden brand. You know. The vodka with little golden flakes in it?-I know it's a little gay but hey!-they're having a sale on it, buy one get one free!

I payed for them, not bothering to pick up the change, and popped one open, immediatly taking a swig of it.

I stepped out and ran into a pink haired woman that looked really similar to sakura.-Hey!-It was her! "hey!" i said cheerily grinning a goofy smile that usually belonged on narutos face.

"S-sasuke?!" she asked suprised to see me.

"yeah?" i answered her retori-retical-retin-screw it! her damed question.

"w-what are you doing here?" she took my hand as i lost balance.

"....i was thirsty" is she stupid?!-why else would i have a full bottle of vodka in my hand?

"......uhh......do you need help?" she asked me sencerly.

"with what?" i leaned into her for suport.

"w-with...uhmm..." she tried to push me off as i smelled her hair.

"you smell really nice sakura......" i twisted my fingers into her hair pulling her closer "and here i'd thought you'd smell discusting" i smiled.

"uh-...." she pushed harder "...are you drunk?" she acussed.

"yeup" i pulled away smiling and pushing my nose into her cheek "what shampoo do you use?-i want some!" i whined laughing as she shrinked away from my touch.

"okay....that's it" she pushed me off with her super strength and fastened her arm around my waist "i'm taking you home"

"Why thank you monseur!" i cheered wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

"...just walk sasuke" she comanded.

"wow" i comented my face turning impassive "you really would be a bitch in bed ya' know?"

Her cheeks burned red makng me smile again "you gotta lighten up tootse!"

"sasuke-p-pay attention!" she warned as i stumbled over a curb and fell to the ground bringing her with me.

I wraped my arms around her and held her tight "I hate you sakura!" i laughed "your always bringing me down like this!"

"what?!-you totally were the one who fell sasuke!" she yelled at me angrily.

"am i making you mad sakura?" i asked bewildered "...that's a first" my smile widened "you know what?" i said hugging her tighter. Yes. Hugging...."I've always thought of you as my annoying little sister that i'll never get rid of" my laughing became trembles "but.....when you didn't except my desicion to go ........... gay..........it really hurt........more than you know" i confessed my eyes feeling wet.

She looked up at me horrified at the tears that came down my face.

What was with that?-i was happy a second ago. I must be a bi-polar drunk.

"you're kidding right?!" she yelled again pushing me away from her " I wasn't disaproving!-I was totally hating you!-ALL YOU DID WAS HATE NARUTO, THEN YOU DESIDE TO FRICKEN GET WITH HIM!-AND I WAS ANGRY HE ACCEPTED YOU! I WAS ANGRY THAT YOU ARE SO FUCKING SEDUCTIVE! -AND THAT IF YOU DONT GET WHAT YOU WANT-YOU TURN INTO A DETERMINED BASTARD!" tears began to well up in her eyes "-BUT IT WAS SO EASY FOR YOU! NARUTO GAVE IN RIGHT AWAY!-INFACT HE WAS THRILLED!-I HATE YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU TOO MUCH FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!" she punched me in the gut.

I hunched forward my face buried between her shoulder and her cheek "i know" my voice came out broken and defeated "and im actually quite discusted with myself......i wish i could take all those years back" i looked up at her my face showing the expression of pain.

".........why'd you do it?" she asked her face softening.

"Cause i'm a self sentered prick" i grinned my happy mood coming back.

She sighed pulling me to my feet "come on.......lets get you home"

"hahahaha!" i laughed stumbling along side of sakura "i think i really am going to have to stay home, sick, tomorrow!-i bet naruto will be glad!!" i laughed again.

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"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Sakura called to me from the crappy old uchiha gate.

"I'll be fine!-" i yelled back swaying to the right slightly "-I feel much better!" i finished, turning around to wave but fell to the ground instead.

She took a step, about to come help me, but i pushed myself up and started walking again.

I could feel her confused gaze on my retreating back, but i didn't look back, focused on staying on my feet.

I turned right at a broken down food market, the windows broken and old peices of shelves, scattered across the floor.

The uchiha condo was a peice of shit!-why haven't i realised untill now?

If getting drunk made normal stupid people stupider, then did getting drunk make uchiha sasuke smarter? It definatley made him emotional that's for sure.

Anyway, that place needed a flower pot or a spray of windex or somthing!

I walked up to the door and reached into my pocket to get my keys, and tried for atleast 7 minutes to open the door, but nothing!

Stupid key hole. Why the hell did they have to be so small.

I Rang the doorbell, and stood at the door for another, bloody, fucking 7 minutes, and again-NOTHING!!!

-was naruto even home?!-or could he still be angry at me?!

Oh No. He's agnry "Hey naru-chan!" i groaned knocking on the door "Let me in sweet cheeks!" i pressed my forehead against the door, poping my lips a few times.

Nothing. Zip. Squat!!!Was he really going to leave me out here?- meantally impared and all?

Hey! I'm a ninja!-What the fuck am i waiting out here for, when i could just climb through the window?

I stomped around to the side of the house where our bedroom window was and used my super awsome ninja skills to jump up onto the window ledge. I hooked my fungers under the window, that was always left open a jar and pulled it open.

I slipped through, my ear drums imeadiatly being abused by loud metal.

"NARUTO?" i yelled over the shreaking of the vocalist in the band.

I walked across the empty room to the door and opened it walking into the hallway. The second bottle of vodka swayed at my side, as it hung from my elbow "NARUTO?"i yelled again stumbling down the stairs, the music getting even louder. Was he deff or somthing?

Naruto sat in the living room a laptop on his lap, music blaring from my massive stereo system i had built into the wall over the television. He didn't even notice when i came up behind the couch and leaned over his shoulder.

A small panel blinked at the bottom of the screen and he opened it.

"I'm home" i wispered in his ear.

Naruto jumped pulling the laptop to his chest as MSN messanger opened up.

"s-sasuke!" he gasped alarmed and caught off guard by my sudden apearance.

-_We'll pick this up later_- he typed quickly closing the panel.

I wonder who he was writing to....

"what'diddya do today?" i asked him stealing a kiss, that he obviously didn't want to give me; because he pulled away from me.

"I did stuff" he pluged his nose "and i'm guessing that you rolled in a pool of drunk whores?"

"what?" i ask smelling my shirt.

"you smell like like shit, i said" naruto laughed icily as i tried to kiss him again.

"mmm-but i just smell like it" i grinned climbing over the back of the couch, mounting him "-i actually feel quite sober" i grabbed his face and forcfully kissed his lips.

"Get off!" naruto complained pushing on my chest.

"oh come on" i licked his lips, trying to make him open up.

The computer bleeped and naruto growled using ultra-super-sage-strength to throw me right back over the back of the couch, where i came from.

Maybe i'm not gay. Maybe naruto's just another one of these god dammed woman, but with a penis.

I hoped back up watching as naruto typed -_tomorrow-_and then he turnned off the computer and bounded over to the stereo to turn it off aswell.

"I'm tired" naruto turnned to me.

"but......i...i was going to stay home tomorrow" i moved around the couch "...and i got some....umm......" i looked into the bag to see just what brand of alcohol i had bought "....i have some gay shit here....and i havn't eaten...." i pleaded advancing towards him "even if your not hungry, humour me, and let me take you out for somthing to eat" i grabbed his hand before he could move away from me.

"sasuke your drunk....and there is no way i'm going in public with you looking, or smelling as bad as you do...." naruto yanked his hand from mine.

"but i miss you" i whined taking his other hand.

At this statement he smiled and pulled away "your still drunk sasuke" he stepped beside me and placed his hand on my shoulder pushing me forward "and i think you should sleep"

"but-" i objected but he shoved me ahead.

"sleep" he stated simply folowing me up the stairs.

He and I climbed into bed after taking off our clothing, leaving only our boxers on.

I didn't try to bring up a conversation because he was snoring before i could say, yankie-doodle.

So i went to sleep.

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I woke up to a mild light. I looked over to the window and smiled realising that naruto had already closed the blinds for me.

my smile quickly disapeared as i realised that he was no longer in the room "...naruto?" i asked my head throbbing when the sound of my voice reached my ears.

I rolled out of bed, landing on my hands and knees and clutched the dresser pulling my self to my feet.

"Naruto!!!???" i yelled for him, my head spinning.

Naruto didn't answer me. That wasn't normal. And i didn't hear any music coming from downstairs. I reached for a shirt pulling it over my head and then looked back to the dresser picking up my headband, only to find a note attached.

_Hey sasuke. I'm out on a mission, i'll be back later, it's nothing but a quick s rank mission. The usuall impending doom. _

_See you soon._

_Bye._

Bye?...Bye?!....what the hell?.....where was my usuall 'I love you', I WANT MY BONIFIED SENTANCE OF AFFECTION DAMMIT!

"that's it" i snarled looking for some pants "I'm gunna find out whats his problem" I frowned pulling on my slacks one leg at a time.

"I'm going to wait for him"

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I looked around at the many admiring gazes, from women and proud elders. I seriously don't think i deserve them after i completely kicked most of their asses, burned down their houses and stabbed their cats.

That's right. I was evil. Totally evil. And a part of me still is, but i usually drown that half with the sweet, sweet sex i hav-_had_ with naruto. So i'm not suprised i feel like killing someones epileptic miracle child right now.

Infact i still have that kick-ass coat in my closet. I should go put that thing on and go kick a puppy or somthing.

Why do i enjoy torchuring things, i asked myself manytimes before, and i'll share the answer that i came up with, with you-I had no idea what sex was!

Sex was somthing that used to haunt my nightmares. (i'm sasuke uchiha, i don't have dreams!)

Sex was mating with an actuall female!-and because i had no parental figure to teach me about these things i always dreaded the day that i would have sex.

I would sit in class while our teacher was giving us a lesson on sexuall education and i would try to plug my ears, sleep, or draw some crappy-ass picture.

Unfortunatley it's not that easy to egnore a step by step instruction on how to insert your penis into a vagina and pull in and out, in and out, in and-you get the point.

So when i went to bed horrable things, unthinkable things, entered my mind.

Sakura, Ino, and a number of diferent females trying to have babies with me when i got older.

And at this time, i didn't know such a thing as a homosexuall existed.

So you can imagine my pain.

How i found out about homosexualls, was when i met that, uber-fag, Sai.

What an ass hole he is.

Anyway, Sex is my drug! If im sad or angry, i refuse to take drugs and carve my brain into swiss cheese, just to feel better. So i have sex!-But since there was, and still is no sex to be had-I just kill things!

My feet pounded on the ground mindlessly as my mind wandered, when i heard his voice. I looked up, a mop of blonde hair just a few feet away from me. Naruto sat at his favorite ramen stand happily talking with kiba and shikamaru. I frowned moving forward.

I reached out about to touch his shoulder when i heard somthing so shocking, and so vile. Somthing that i never thought would leave narutos lips in a million years. Even if it was about, self centered, homocidal, bastard-ish, me.

"I really do think he's cheating on me" naruto looked at kiba, his happy demeanor leaving his beautiful self.

My eyes widened, a scoul firmly placed on my lips.

Narutos head whiped around and scanned the empty road behind him.

"your overreacting" kiba laughed from below.

I sat on the roof listening to this converstation, a few curious eyes glancing at me as they walked by. My face was hard and cold, and even i could feel the ice begining to grow on my lips, eyes and cheeks.

"I'm not overreacting!" naruto spat "He smells like alcohol when he comes home!"

"So?....that only means he's an alcoholic" shikamaru pointed out "...there's a reasonable explaination for evertything naruto"

I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink away pain like every dead beat bastard dose........ Maybe i am an alcoholic. What ever.

"oh yeah?" naruto asked "...then explain to me why he's been coming home for the past few days, smelling like a woman....like some cheap perfume factory exploded!?"

How could naruto say that?-His words peirced me like swords laced with poison. How could naruto accuse me of, not only cheating, but cheating with a _woman_! He knows very well i'm gay.

"are you sure it wasn't colonge?" kiba snickered.

And aparently so dose kiba.

"Shut up dog!" i heard naruto smack him ".....i know it was a woman.....sakura was wearing the same perfume this morning"

"dude when do you have the time to smell her!?" Kiba laughed again.

"Okay i'm serious now kiba, shut up" narutos voice was harsh.

"so am i..." kiba stoped laughing "....are you sure it was the same sent?"

"....yeah.....i was going to do some stupid escort mission this morning, and sakura and shino were on the team, so sakura was standing beside me while we were given information. And i'm serious, she was wearing so fucking much of the shit, i thought i was gunna barf!" Naruto complained "....so i said i wasn't feeling very well, cause sasuke gave me his cold, and i was excused"

I'm not sick.

"....wow.....but really....sakura?!....i don't think she would do that to you naruto..." shikamaru questioned.

"I never said it was sakura" naruto mumbled ".....i mean perfume is sold every day....but you never know right?"

"I really think your overreacting" kiba said again.

When do i ever smell like a woman?-well sakura did walk me home last night. I guess that was a reasonable conclusion, just like shikamaru said.

"...i'm not......" naruto hissed "and the night before that, he smelled like someone else, but it was still perfume"

I didn't see any other woman that other night except for that evil bitch hinata, and that-.....old lady. Man i'm fucked.

"-but i got a plan....." naruto finished.

My eyes widened as i looked down at the aluminum roof, as if i could see through it.

"naruto i-" shikamaru started but was cut off by narutos quick chatter.

"-I'm going to need some of your help"

"no way" shikamaru ended his portion of this conversation by getting up and walking out of the booth.

"Oh come on-" naruto said from inside.

"Nope" i watched as shikamaru walked away.

"Shikamaru!" naruto called stepping out of the ramen shop.

"i said-" he turned and imeadiatley met my gaze of black death "I..." his eyes widened as my frown deepened, while getting to my feet.

"what?" naruto asked begining to look my way.

I quickly glared at shikamaru and mouthed '_no one has to know_' and disapeared behind the small building.

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I sat at the kitchen table tapping my fingers on the table.

How could this happen!!! My naruto thinks i'm cheating on him!!! Oh my god!!!

I really don't know how to deal with this. I don't think any man, weather it be a hobo or me, know how to deal with this.

So far my only soloution for this is to reapeatedly say sorry, and i didn't even do anything wrong!

Hey. If i didn't do anything wrong, why am i worried? I should just tell him what really happened!

I'm really horny and upset, and i drink alot of beer to try to forget about it, but then i vometted on some old ladys shoe, and fell on sakura, so she carried me home while i sang show tunes, and then you rejected me, wrote me that stupid note, making me angry, so then i sought out to find out how long your mission would be, making a quick break to steal candy from a baby, but then i heard your little talk with the boys, and now i'm so emo i should be having my period right now!

That will go over well.

I looked out the window as the sun began to set.

Where did the day go? I glanced at the clock; It read 5:47.

"Naruto....."

I looked back out the window, 8 to 10 minutes passing by, when the door bell rang.

My mood imediatley lightened. Well, as much as it could for sasuke uchiha, atleast.

I leaped over the couch after i left the kitchen, running through the living room to the front door, opening it a little to eagerly.

My faint, excited smile faded as my eyes settled on who was standing at my door.

Sakura lifted her hand waving a little bit her smile wide, the dry red lipstick cracking on her lips "Hi sasuke" she put her hand back down "...i just came to see how you were doing"

I blinked at her. What was she doing here? I noted that she wasn't wearing her usuall attire, It was a short red cocktail dress, with frilly shit hanging off the end of it.

This seemed a little suspisious.

My frown turned into a small smirk as i looked into her eyes "well hello sakura" i said politley ".......wont you come in?" i moved out of the way watching as her eyes widened in shock, and hesitantly stepped through the door.

I senced a small amount of chakra being was very suspisious. To bad he dosn't know that I know.

"So how have _you _been" i asked closing the door.

"umm..." she turned to me giving me a strange look "....and when did you become interested?"

"....well.....can't i ask?" i blinked inocently. Her look turned accusing, then oblivious.

"fine i guess" she turned to walk into the living room "...but i want to know how you're doing" she looked at me over her shoulder fluttering her eye lashes.

Oh naruto you are such a bad actor "I'm fine" My small smirk became very smug and evidently

clear on my face.

"oh....that's nice" sakura/naruto sat on my couch and crossed her legs.

"So" i jumped over the back of the couch, just as i had done last night and sat beside her, my thigh touching hers ".........can i ask why you really came over?" i pushed back against the arm rest, bringing the thigh that was touching hers, up more so it could rest against her hip.

She watched me, sprawl across the sofa, wide eyed and speechless.

"...well?" i asked my wide smirk, beggining to look more like a grin.

"......i....sasuke......i...." a faint blush rose to her cheeks "....ummmm" she stalled pulling away from me.

"why don't you just come here?" i smiled waving for her to come closer.

If i wasn't so determind to play naruto at his own game, i think i would be laughing right now. I think. But still.

"w-what?" she asked alarmed.

"come-" i leaned forward grabbing both her hands"-here" i pulled her forward as i leaned back again. She fell forward her head thumping against my chest.

"oops" i chuckled "are you okay?" i kissed her forhead as she looked up.

"s-sasuke?" she looked at me her expression confused.

"don't worry" i wispered touching her lips with my own "....i'll be nice"

Oh naruto are you in for a suprise!!!

I expected him to poof into himself and start yelling at me, but no, instead he crushed those oddly shaped lips of sakuras against mine.

"enthusiastic much?" i chuckled kissing back.

"mm" her high unfamilliar voice moaned. Naruto was seriously overdoing it. If he didn't change back soon i'd have to do somthing about it.

I slid out from under her, keeping my lips locked on hers, switching our positions.

I wiggled my way inbetween her legs, making her gasp. I took advantage of this situation sliding my hot tongue into her mouth.

"-ah-sasuke" she whined, her voice too girly for my liking.

"okay-" i said breathless pulling away and kissing her collar bone "-you need to stop that"

"stop what?" she asked breathing hard against my shoulder.

"You and I both know very well tha-" i began to speak but the sound of the front door opening made me stop short.

"Hey sasuke!" i heard naruto call from across the room "-I'm home!-" The door shut "....i wouldn't be suprised if you weren't" He added on the end in mock humor.

My entire body went riggid. I was seriously confused now. What the fuck was going on?! Did he ask sakura to do this?-No!-he couldn't have!-if he knew about this he would of jumped out of behind a desk or somthing screaming-_'HA!-I GOT YOU!'_.

My eyes widened staring at her face.

Why did her chakra signature stand out?!-how is this possable?!-why did she show up dressed like a hussy, on this spesific day, when she made it very clear last night that she hated me. Alot.

I mean the only reason she puts up with me is because of naruto. Why the hell would she let me do this to her, let alone respond!?-I'M SO CONFUSED!

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Narutos angry voice filled my ears. I looked up to see his furious expression "So now that your finally off work you deside to bring your nasty little afairs home?!-i bet you were just thrilled when i left that note for you!?-you thought i wouldn't be home would you!?" Naruto dropped the large bag of things he had in his hand to the floor, letting them scatter them everywhere.

I just stared at him, my mind still processing what was happening.

"FUCK YOU SASUKE!" was the final, stinging sentance he screamed at me before he ran for the door.

A fit of rage took over every one of my sences as i looked down at the blushing, ashamed, pink haired girl.

I began to taste somthing foul in my mouth "what the fuck is going on?!" i yelled in frustration, throwing myself off of sakura as fast i had with naruto this morning "Sakura what the hell are you doing here!?" i yelled again walking around to the kitchen entrance. I stepped on the many flat objects on the floor as i walked into the tiled room. I shoved my entire upper body through the window, craining my neck around to see if naruto was still near, but there was no sighn of him.

"DAMMIT ALL!" i screamed pulling back in.

I walked back to the kitchen entry and crouched to see what was in the bag. I found a small bag of beef jerky and about a dozen play boy magazines. What the hell was he doing with those?!-OH MY GOD!-SO MUCH MORE FUCKING CONFUSION!-WHY, DEAR LORD, MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME!!!!

I frowned looking back up at sakura. She stared at me wide eyed and guilty.

"I hate you!!!" i hissed lurching to my feet "why did you deside to do this _tonight_?" i walked forward menacingly ".......cause i assure you i would of refused to even speak to you on any other occasion!"

"a-and what occasion is this?!" she stood up.

My nostrals flared, as the heat in my face rose quite dramatically. My vision was going red "There was no ocassion!!!" i full out yelled at her "I thought you were naruto!!!!"

".....naruto?" her face went blank ".....you thought...i was naruto?" she asked angrily "That discusting monster?!" she sneered.

"I need an advil!" i turned and rushed into the kitchen "I cannot believe you just said that..." i mumbled to myself downing two pills without water.

I spun around and stormed back into the living room "You did not just say that!!!" i informed her, pointing an acusing finger "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME THAT YOU HATED ME!!! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME THAT I DIDN'T _DESERVE _HIM!"

Her frown turned to a small victorious smirk. I instinctivly ringed her throat and threw her on the floor "YOU BITCH!" i screamed climbing on top of her and holding her arms down so as i could dig my knee into her stomache without her stopping me.

"You wanna know why i'm here?" she winced as i loosened my hold to hear what she had to say. Please say that naruto hired you. PLEASE!

"I heard naruto and his idiotic friends talking about how they were going to find out if you were cheating on him" she smiled evily "....and they said somthing about pornos and cameras......" she laughed lightly "They were going to see if you would read them" she started to shake with laughter "how stupid could they get!"

"I don't think he's as stupid as he lets on!" i growled tightening my hold on her again.

"...Well i thought i would come over here before his little plan could unveil and make him think you were actually cheating on him..." she choked as i pushed her into the floor. I was ready to kill her.

"why?!" i yelled.

"...so he would break up with you and get a life with someone that _'desrves' _him!"

She had crossed the line. What was one more person on the giant list of people i killed? What was one more person on the list of the many people from _kohona _i've killed. My former family.

"DIE!!!!" I sent all of my chakra through her body in the form of lightning.

She began to laugh, coughing lightly as i pushed the air out of her lungs, and zapped the living shit out of her..

What was so fucking funny?! She was supose to be screaming!

Smoke filled my vision and the first things that i saw when it cleared were the big, blue, beautiful eyes of my beloved naruto.

I imeadiatley stopped the painfull treatment, letting go of him.

"Get off you freak" he joked pushing his forehead against mine.

"n-naruto!?" My eyes narrowed more anger welling up inside me "i-is this some kind of joke!?" i screamed.

He winced at my loud voice and stared in amazment as my sharingan was activated "Yeah it's me..." he assured groaning as i took my knee off his gut.

"What.....What the fuck?!" i yelled my mind racing.

This didn't make any .... I couldn't....What the hell was going on?! "....I don't understand.......what....what's the meaning of this!!!???" i demanded.

"Heh heh.....i just wanted to know" he explained wrapping his arms around my neck ".....i love you" he smiled warmly and kissed me "...i can't belive i doubted you for one second!" he kissed me again.

"naruto" i breathed kissing him back "i dont understand any of this, but i'm just happy your not sakura right now" I felt a pang of guilt as i realised what i had just done to him "Wait!...are you okay?......I'm so-"

"ah-haha" he laughed, cutting me off "I didn't think i was going to live when you gave me that look a second ago. If not for that i would have stayed the way i was"

"Oh naruto" i kissed him feircley.

I seriously didn't know what was going on. Really. All i know, is that naruto is under me, letting me kiss him. I couldn't be happier. But i also couldn't be any more angry.

"Naruto I'm Furious!!" i wispered as he kissed along my neck.

"I know" he chuckled holding me tighter "......i'm sorry..." he kissed my shoulder.

"I'm really....really furious...." i pressed my lips under his ear and quickly opened my mouth clenching the juncture between his neck and shoulder, tightly, with my teeth.

Naruto hissed a low moan and kissed my shoulder again.

"I'm sorry" he repeated.

"sorry?" i managed to say, my teeth still digging into his flesh; to prevent myself from yelling "....I'm so sorry that you managed to come up with the conclusion that i was cheating on you..."

"So that was you huh?" naruto laughed "i thought someone was behind me....."

"hmm" i opened my mouth licking the small wound i had made on his neck "i'm going to make you pay" i growled ".....you almost gave me a heart attack" i turned my head to kiss the corner of his mouth "wait..." i pulled back to look into his eyes.

"Who was that other 'naruto' then ?" my eyes narrowed.

"Hah-hah...you worry to much" he kissed me again.

"fine" i kissed back excitment overcoming every one of my nerves "...promise to explain it to me later?" i looked at him seriously.

"promise" he smiled smugly.

"Good" i rolled off of him and pulled him to his feet as i stood "then come on" I dragged him towards the stairs.

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I kicked open the door, naruto in my arms, bridal style. My lips were to buisy to note the broken door. Naruto sighed contently as is i shoved my tongue in his mouth. His grip on my hair tightened as i lowered him down onto the matress. he pressed his body against mine when i started to pull away.

"Hmm, hmm, hmm" i snickered kissing back forcefully for a few seconds, and pulled away, breaking the lock of our lips.

"....You owe me" i growled tugging on the hem of his shirt.

"What?" he said quickly, proping himself onto his elbows to crush his lips against mine again "since when?!"

"Since you put me through hell back there......i think you owe me a little bit of an apology" i smirked pushing him down on the bed.

"I'm sorry" he smiled pushing himself up.

"That's not what i meant..." i laughed holding him down this time.

"oh?" he licked his lips "what did you have in mind?"

"Non of your buisness, nosey" I chuckled.

Before i could grab him again, he flung himself up and wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked down holding his shoulders tightly as i felt his cold fingers run up the back of my shirt.

"Naruto..." i said trying to pull his attention away from my belly button, wich he was currently abusing with his soft, wet tongue.

"This was not apart of my plan" i said disaprovingly.

"Shhh..." naruto stroked my hips with his thumbs, holding my shirt up with his thin fingers.

His lips moved further down kissing where the button of my pants held. He wrapped his mouth around the silver nub and used his tongue to push it through the hole.

A lump in my throat began to form, making the ability to swallow harder than usuall.

His hands moved away, being replaced by his forehead, to pull on the zipper that held my pants together.

My breath hitched and i tangled my fingers into his golden hair " i don't think so naruto" i growled trying to pull away from his iron grasp.

"i won't let you get away" he cuckled darkly, using his super, sage strength to keep me close.

"You little bastard" i held his hair tighter as my manhood met the cool air "...fuck you..."

Narutos tongue felt cold against the trobbing heat of my head. (the sexuall organ located in the lower abdominal area!)

"Shit" i moaned tilting my head back slightly, shutting my eyes. His mouth cosed around me, and he laughed at my ragged breathing, a low vibrating sensation coming from deep inside his throat.

"No!" i said sharply, yanking narutos face away.I quickly bent down and jammed my tongue down his throat, letting go of his hair to push him down with my left hand and hook his knee around my waist with my right.

I broke the bond between our lips and swiped my tongue across the tip of his teasingly.

He groaned when i moved inbetween his legs, his growing ecrection rubbing against the fabric of his boxers; which were conceled inside his pants.

Naruto grinned leaning up to graze his tongue against my own in response. I smiled at the little game he wished to play with me.

I stuck out my tongue as if i was going to give him a razzberry and pushed his back sliding into his mouth while he explored behind my teeth.

He moaned pushing his torso up into my own, curving into me perfectly.

"hmm" i licked my lips as he gasped, when i harshly grinded back "......i'm going to enjoy this" i smirked pulling on the clasp on his pants.

Naruto laid his arms above his head, and opened his legs wide, iviting me to do what i wanted with him. His chest heaved with excitment as i unzipped him, and pulled his pants off along with his boxers. I frowned as his right heel caught on the end of the pant leg, and tugged it off not caring when i heard the fabric tear.

Naruto laughed sitting up to kiss me, but i roughly pushed him back onto the bed, his shirt riding up when i did so.

My smirk imeadiatley went back into place, almost preditory, as i leaned over him, spreading his legs even wider.

I kissed the tip, feeling as he jerked back "...heh-haha......stay still" i scorned.

"well hurry up dammit!" he hissed.

"..you should be more patient....." i comented as i opened my mouth to take him in. He let out a high sort of shreik, that kind of sounded like my name, when i closed my lips around his head digging my tongue into the slit. His hands balled into fists, his nails cutting into his palms. His mouth was open and gasping, his eyes shut tight. my hands pushed up under his knees as i repositioned myself, taking him in deeper.

"Sasuke!" he yelled when i scraped my teeth on the underside of his manhood.

I released him and began to nip at his stomache, pushing his shirt up as i went "what's wrong?" i asked quickly giving his right nub a hard bite.

"OUCH!!!-THE FUCK, SASUKE!?" he screamed smacking my head, and pulling it head up, efectivley ripping out a few locks of hair.

"-ah-not so rough naru-chan..." i took his wrist and gave it a good squeeze.

"Me!?" he frowned "Your the one eating me alive down there!"

"....hm, hm, hm......." i laughed pinning his hands to the bed. I kissed under his chin, and pushed his shirt passed his nose.

"This isn't fair..." naruto said before i could kiss him again.

I perched myself above him, his sweet breath washing over my face "...what isn't?"

".....the fact that I'm the only one naked is 'what's not fair'" he crossed his arms across his chest from under me.

"hmm......" i looked over him a small shred of a gloating smile on my face "well...i guess so.........but i said i would play nice" my smile grew wider "...i never said i would play by the rules"

I held his legs, hooking them over my shoulders as i positioned myself at his entrance.

"Ready?" i asked pecking him on the cheek.

"More than ready" he turned his head to kiss my lips.

I pushed into him with one hard jerk. He yelped clutching my shoulders "Fuck!=...ah!...you should've .....fingered me first...."

"It's not to late" i smiled kissing him, and pulling out slightly, hearing his uncomfortable gasp.

"...that's not nessisary, but a little lube would help" he groaned, his torso shrinking away from me.

"right...." i looked at him for a few minutes, proccesing that this was acctually happening.

The heat of his tight ass felt so good. It was a bit dry, but it probably hurt him more than me.

I pulled out listening to his pained hiss. I shouldn't have been to hasty.

"sorry" i apologised reaching for the desser and opening up a drawr. I felt inside the cluttered box and finally felt the familliar shape of the lube bottle. I opened it with a click and squirted some on to my right hands index finger and my middle finger.

"hmmm..." naruto sighed as i slid my cool fingers into him "....that feels so much better"

"...thats good" i smirked digging my fingers into the soft walls inside him, trying to find his sweet spot.

"Ah!" he gasped pushing off of the bed slightly.

"hello" i said proudly kissing him. I drew circles over and over around that area, listening to those delicious sounds that escaped his lips.

"sasuke!" he moaned raking his nails over my shoulders, ripping the fabric that covered my skin "if you don't hurry up...i'll-ah!-kill you!"

"hmm......." i pulled my fingers out and moved back inbetween his legs, a thoughtfull look on my face. He was so beautiful. Not like the girly-sissy beautiful that you would call a girl, but the kind of beautiful you would say absentmindedly while looking at an amazing creature.

His eyes were slit, and the marks on his cheeks were more defind. His bright blond hair sticking to his forhead in anticipation. His tan was un-natural. I mean it was everywhere. even his-

"sasuke...?" naruto asked worriedly.

I looked up from staring at his wang and stifled a laugh "..y-yes?"

"...what?" he asked his brows knitting together. Naruto thighs suddenly became tight around me.

"No need to be self concious" i pushed them gently with my cool fingers. He shuddered at my touch. I had bad curculation.

"Then.....what the hell are you laughing at?" he asked relaxing.

"nothing in particular....just wondering how you got this odd tan of yours...." i stroked his cheek "...over the years you havn't gotten one shade lighter...or darker"

"and i want to know why you shower in sun-screen every morning before you step out into the world" naruto complained, pushing up into me.

This i laughed at "....you're so amusing" i kissed him tenderly. I slowly pushed into him, sliping my tongue in to his mouth when he gasped. I chuckled deep in my chest when he crushed himself against me.

Naruto was so....so sensitive. I smiled going in deeper.

"oh-yeah" he moaned into my ear, his warm tongue leaving saliva in the many crevices. His warm lips littered my neck his tongue giving the same treatment it did to my ear. I shivered filling him, and pulling out in one fast movment.

"yesss" he hissed working on a hickey under my jaw.

I groaned pushing in again, listening as his breath intake qickened.

I moved my head to kiss him but he reached up to hold my head on a upturned angle, so he could still suck on my fair skin.

I continued to pull in and out, my pace varrying as he pleased.

"faster" he begged breathless.

"harder" he pleaded in a wisper.

Oh god i loved the way he spoke to me when he needed somthing; of the sexuall nature of course. When he wanted ramen, or some new ninja tool, he would pester me to no end.

That was fucking annoying-

"deeper!"

-that was not.

"ok" was all i could say, as i attended to his request. I hooked my right elbow under his left ankle and pulled it up and over my shoulder, pushing in as far as i could.

"o-oh" naruto shook clutching my hair, yanking me down to his face.

"i miss this" i smiled weakly shoving back into him.

"uh-huh" he groaned pushing back.

I pressed my lips to his feeling his body spasm beneigth me, my own quake of pleasure enveloping me.

"naruto" i moaned burying my face into the crook of his neck.

Narutos body was like a limp noodle in my hands. All of his uptight muscles totally mellowed out. It was like i had poured oil on all the rusty hinges in his body.

"Just as i remembered it" he laughed, his breath coming out in little puffs against my cheek "....lets do it again" he smiled.

I looked at him, exassperated "where do you get all this energy?"

"...it's all the vitamin C" he smiled wider poiting to his tan.

"well atleast you know that there is somthing called vitamin C.....but you get that from oranges an other citr-" i was cut off by an agressive kiss.

(Enter round two)

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I opened my eyes a grey sort of smoggish light filling my vision. I grumbled trying to roll over but a warm, soft lump prevented me from doing so. I squinted at the figure that was a ball of blankets and sheets, with a mop of blonde hair sticking out the top. I blinked looking at my bare body, now feeling the cold air against my skin.

"Naruto" i wispered pulling at the blankets. He waved me off hitting my forearm a few times.

"Naruto wake up" i said more clearly.

"Shut the fuck up!" he hissed pulling the cloth against him even tighter.

"well...." i snaped cheerily yanking the blankets off of him, and throwing them on the floor beside me.

"AH-YOU BASTARD!" he cried burying his face in his pillow.

"...and i thought _i_ wasn't a morning person...." i laughed walking off to the bathroom, a bounce in my step.

What was up with that you ask?-well like i told you before, ever since i got with naruto ive been like a diferent person. Almost.-Okay i was, but only to him.

When i looked in the mirror i was smiling. My eyes widened at this and i imediatley replaced that preppy grin with a deep frown. That was a failed attempt. As soon as i saw the frown contrast with my dancing eyes i burst into a fit of laughter.

"what's so funny" naruto mumbled walking in behind me. I glanced at his tired image in the mirror, a smile firmly placed on my face.

"....you are..." i retorted laughing again when he glared at me "....this weird power you have over me" i turned to him and leaned on the sink as he turned on a warm shower.

"...i'm not a witch you know...." he bent over to take out the plug.

I smiled widley advancing towards him. Naruto stood back up and began to turn towards me "Sasu-AHHH" i jumped on him, toppling down into the tub.

"OU-" before he could say anything the shower bar came down, bringing the thin sheet of plastic with it, letting the watter cascade off of it.

"oh....my head" he pushed up to shove me off, but i quickly kissed him.

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"So" i smiled watching the grumpy naruto sit down on the ooposite side of the table, a large bowl of Mr. noodles in his hands "...tell me.........what was going on last night?"

"I hate you, that's what was going on" He shoved a fork full of noodles into his mouth.

"phh" i frowned "..tell me...." i reached forward to stop him from taking another bite "...now" i demanded.

"fine" he dropped his fork.

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**(narutos P.O.V.)**

I looked at shikamaru and was about to beg him to help me when a shocked look spread across his face.

"what?" i asked turning around to see what he was gawking at. Nothing. I looked back at him "....what?" i repeated.

"....sasuke" he looked at me worried.

".....yeah...and?" i asked crossing my arms over my chest. was shikamaru high today or something? Or was he trying to be funny. Here i am all upset and he keeps messing up my train of thought. Wait. What was i out of my seat for again?-oh yeah.

"Shikamaru?"

"sasuke heard you" he finally said walking my way.

My eyebrows raised in suprise, and i remembered feeling a presence behind me after i had finally anounced my little problem, and then it disapeared.

"how much?" i asked amazingly calm.

"all of it....." he replied reaching out for my shoulder.

"Oh" i turned and calmly walked back to my seat and i found myself smiling.

"...how did he take it?" i asked pulling my bowl of ramen closer to me.

"he looked angry" shikamaru said standing by the entrance.

"hmm..." I smiled widley "It's been a while since he's been really angry at me......" i took a bite of my noodles and chopped 'em in half with my teeth, watching as the amount that didn't make it in to my mouh fell back in to the bowl.

"What?" Kiba asked looking at me.

"sasuke heard it" i looked at him grinning.

"...you're happy?" he asked.

"well....i'm not thrilled....." i mused looking back at my soup "but.....since he was angry, he's probably going to give me a very long talk about how he isn't cheating on me, and how he loves me, or somthing along the lines of that, and th-never mind" i picked up more noodles with my chopsticks and slurped them up, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

"....ok....." kiba began to get up.

"I think i'm still going to mess with him though...." i started to laugh.

"huh?" kiba sat right back down as i looked at shikamaru with a pleading smile "If you don't want any part of my diabolical plan, can you atleast pick up some beef jerky for me?" i asked.

He gave me a curt nod and left the shop for the second time today.

I looked at kiba a misjevious smirk in place of my smile "so.......you still have all those playboy magizines?" i asked.

"uh...yeah?" he replied not liking where this was going.

"don't worry you'll get them back" i grinned.

"...kay......now?" he asked.

"yeah, please"

"...alright" he stood up and left.

"...now.....i need to see sakura" i put my hands together and poofed away leaving my payment on the table.

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I ringed the door bell and sung back and forth on my heels waiting for her to answer.

"I guess she's not home" i said disapointed.

"naruto?" i heard her familiar voice from behind me .

"Oh!" i smiled turning around to see my adopted sister. I hopped off of her front step to wrap my arms around her "Hey!"

"hi? she hugged me back laughing softly "...what are you doing here?" she asked me.

"well" i leaned back my arms still tightly wound around her shoulders " was wondering if you wanted to go out?"

She looked at me with a frown but smiled and said a quick "yes"

"GREAT!" i took her arm and began leading her off.

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I sat beside her on a park bench one arm around her shoulder and the other one hanging off the back of the bench. My right leg was crossed over the other and i looked at her smiling as she leaned on my shoulder.

"so....what brought this up?" she looked at me a faint blush on her cheeks.

"well.....actually......i was just wandering....." i looked at her nervously bitting my lip "....um...don't be offended....but sasuke smelled like you....and i was wondering why that was?"

"oh!" she grinned "you mean last night?, oh yeah sasuke got real drunk and i practically had to drag him home"

"you were with him?" i asked, perfectally at ease.

"Well not at first" she laughed "but i bumped into him on the road and he was so drunk that i thought he was going to hurt himself" she laughed harder at the memory.

"hmm.......i have a favor....."

"yeah?" she asked smiling at me.

"....well......" i smiled sheepishly "...i thought he was cheating on me.....and i was wandering if he thought you still liked him cau-"

"eww no!....i told him last night......" she patted my thigh "....I already told him i wanted to set his guts on fire and that i didn't like him"

"......why'd that come up?" i asked frowning slightly "did he come on to you?" a bad feeling rose in the pit of my stomache.

"No, no...........you have nothing to worry about.........it just came up cause i decided to bring it up.....the fact that he didn't deserve you......"

"oh......." my misjevious smile returned "is that so........" I did feel kind of bad that she had told him that, but it was true. He was lucky to have me!

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(**sasukes P.O.V.**)

"And so i asked her permission if i could pretend to be her for this little prank. She was actually quite happy that i was doing this to you. She said you _deserved _a good fright now and then" he took another bite looking at me causiously "and so i met shikamaru and kiba back at the ichiriaku ramen bar and i took kibas little magazines and put them in the 7-Eleven bag with the beef jerky shikamaru bought for me. Then i cloned myself and i used the transformation jutsu to turn into sakura. Then i showed up at the house and pretended to be a self ritious bitch after my fake me showed up"

My mouth hung open and i could swear a fly went down my throat "Why?" i gasped, outraged.

"because your sexy when your angry, and when your angry, you always put out" naruto explained lifting the bowl to his lips, and drinking the broth that was left in the bowl.

".....i....put out?"

"yeah....you know" he smirked at me "Dake-seba'su!"

"Fucking moron"

**THE END!**

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Kioku:.....lol.....you like?

Sasuke: OH YEAH!

Naruto: ....

Sasuke: But you know what whould've made it better?!-happy pills....

Kioku: well why don't i-

Sasuke: ADD THEM!?

Kioku:...uhh...no...but i-

Sasuke: WILL TAKE SOME!?-*offers pills*

Kioku:-WILL YOU SHUT UP!?.....i'll make a diferent oneshot........just for you.....

Sasuke: OOOOOH YEAAAAA!!!!!! *downs more pills*

Naruto:......*cries* ......I'm scared.....

Kioku:.....O-o.....

Sasuke: I'M GUNNA RAPE YEEEEEWWWWW!

Kioku:...Uh-oh....

Sasuke: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Naruto: *Hides in closet*

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**Well.........hope you guys liked it!...REVIEW!!!!!! RIGHT NOW~!....**

**Or i'll sick sasukes happy ass on all'o'yall!**


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